Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

COFFEE.EXE Missing — Insert Cup and Press Any Key.

Buy a Pentium 4 1Ghz. so you can reboot faster.

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN.

C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL.

<—————-The information went data way———–

Best file compression around: “DEL *.*” = 100% compression.

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding.

The name is Baud…….James Baud.

BUFFERS FILES 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

Access denied — nah nah na nah nah!

C:\> Bad Command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay…

Why doesn’t DOS ever say “EXCELLENT command or filename!”?

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

Backups? We don’ NEED no steenking backups.

E Pluribus Modem.

… File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Ethernet (n): Something used to catch the etherbunny.

A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Reboot Washington, D.C.? (Y/N)

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

A computer’s attention span is as long as its power cord.

11th Commandment — Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s Pentium.

24 hours in a day…24 beers in a case…coincidence?

Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

Windows: Just another pane in the glass.

SENILE.COM found…Out of Memory…

Who’s General Failure and why’s he reading my disk?

Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

Shell to DOS…Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS…

All computers wait at the same speed.

Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.

Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue…

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…

Enter any 11 digit prime number to continue…

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

Email returned to sender — insufficient voltage.

Help! I’m modeming…and I can’t hang up!!!

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

“640K ought to be enough for anybody.” — Bill Gates, 1981.

DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCRS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS.

Hidden DOS Secret: Add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS.

Press any key…no, no, no! NOT THAT ONE!!