Comedians of the 1930’s-1950’s, Bud Abbott and Lou Costello did a comedy sketch about baseball called  “Who’s on First?” It might have turned out something like this in our day of cell phones and computers:

ABBOTT:  Super Duper Computer Store.  May I help you?
COSTELLO:  Thanks.  I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT:  Mac?
COSTELLO:  No, the name’s Lou.
ABBOTT:  Your computer?
COSTELLO:  I don’t own a computer.  I want to buy one.
ABBOTT:  Mac?
COSTELLO:  I told you, my name’s Lou.
ABBOTT:  What about Windows?
COSTELLO:  Why?  Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT:  Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO:  I don’t know.  What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT:  A desktop and wallpaper.
COSTELLO:  I already have a desk with a large top, so never mind the windows with the computer.  I just need a computer and software.
ABBOTT:  Software for Windows?
COSTELLO:  No. For the computer!  I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business.  What have you got?
ABBOTT:  Office.
COSTELLO:  Yeah, for my office.  Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT:  I just did.
COSTELLO:  You just did what?
ABBOTT:  Recommend something.
COSTELLO:  You recommended something?
ABBOTT:  Yes.
COSTELLO:  For my office?
ABBOTT:  Yes.
COSTELLO:  OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT:  Office.
COSTELLO:  Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT:  I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO:  I already have an office with windows!  OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT:  Word.
COSTELLO:  What word?
ABBOTT:  The Word in Office.
COSTELLO:  The only word in office is  “office”.
ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO:  Which word in office for windows?  I told you I don’t want windows installed in my computer.
ABBOTT:  The Word you get when you click the blue  “W”.
COSTELLO:  I’m going to click your  “blue ‘W”  if you don’t start with some straight answers!  OK, forget that.  Can I watch movies on the Internet on this computer?
ABBOTT:  Yes, you’ll want Real One.
COSTELLO:  Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon.  What I watch is none of your business.  Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT:  Real One.
COSTELLO:  If it’s a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT:  Of course.
COSTELLO:  Great!  With what?
ABBOTT:  Real One.
COSTELLO:  OK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT:  You click the blue “1”.
COSTELLO:  I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT:  The blue “1”.
COSTELLO:  Is that different from the blue “W”?
ABBOTT:  The blue “1” is Real One and the blue “W” is Word.
COSTELLO:  What word?
ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO:  But there are three words in  “office for windows”!
ABBOTT:  No, just one.  But it’s the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO:  It is?
ABBOTT:  Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO:  And that word is  “real one”?
ABBOTT:  Real One has nothing to do with Word.  Real One isn’t even part of Office.
COSTELLO:  STOP!  Don’t start that again.  What about financial bookkeeping?  You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT:  Money.
COSTELLO:  That’s right.  What do you have?
ABBOTT:  Money.
COSTELLO:  I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT:  It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO:  What’s bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT:  Money.
COSTELLO:  Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT:  Yes.  No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT:  One copy.
COSTELLO:  Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT:  Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO:  They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT:  Why not?  THEY OWN IT!
A FEW DAYS LATER . .
ABBOTT:  Super Duper Computer Store.  May I help you?
COSTELLO:  Your people set up this computer in my den and turned it on, but how do I turn it off?
ABBOTT:  Click on  “START”.